My blog today may not make much sense to those who were NOT with me this weekend. It isn’t meant to make much sense. It’s a thank you. Sense will come later!
I’m back from one of the most profound experiences of my life. I am covered with bruises. I have almost a perfect imprint of a hand, in bruises, around my wrist, and bruises on my throat. My back is hurting something fierce, and I am aching all over.
But I am as exhilarated as I have ever felt in my life, as high as I was the day my daughter, and my son were born, and as happy as the day I married. And I feel as safe as I was when I was a young child and in the bosom of my loving family.
I am proud of my bruises. I earned each and every one.
I’ve just returned from a weekend-long women’s self-defense workshop, run by Model Mugging/Impact of Boston Inc. This is a unique program, designed to train women—ANY woman—in self-defense techniques that could save her life. The techniques are simple. The premise is that in a real emergency—a life-threatening situation—fear overwhelms us and may prevent us from acting. But with a controlled learning environment, using situations that stimulate that fear, we can be trained to act effectively to protect ourselves against danger.
In fact, the very fear that used to incapacitate us can be harnessed to drive us to safety.
If you’d like to learn more about Model Mugging/Impact, click the title for this blog. It is a simply, highly effective self-defense course for women, men and children, based on reenactments of attack scenerios in a totally safe—but highly realistic—environment. Coaches walk your through every step of the program, in a controlled but gradually escalated environment. It can be fierce, but not in the sense that you think.
It is fierce because it is powerful.
I first read about this workshop almost 8 years ago, and enrolled in a three-hour workshop in Boston, MA. (Workshops are available across the country.) It happened around the same time I returned to my art, and probably played a role in empowering me to do so. I’ve thought often about the experience, and often wished I could return and do the entire workshop.
This week, circumstances arose that made a good friend and I determined to seek this workshop out again. Like a miracle, we found a weekend workshop offered immediately. Like a miracle, there were four spaces available. Like a miracle, our husbands immediately agreed we should do this. Like a miracle, our schedules cleared. And two days later, four women—friends, sisters, mom and daughter—were on their way to a life-altering adventure.
I will write more about this experience as I process the information. I am overwhelmed with what happened right now, and I must also respect the privacy of the brave and wonderful women I worked with. But I can say thank you to several very important people.
For Melissa, our constant coach, whose life is centered on the belief that women’s voices must be heard and treasured. I just realized that YOUR voice is the calm and loving constant I heard throughout this entire weekend. Your voice will enable more women's voices to be heard. Your voice. It will never leave me. Thank you.
For Tracy, who weaves the warp of creativity in her “day job” with the weft of volunteer work for this workshop, to create a whole clothe of a life worth living. She says, “In my day job, I don’t save lives…. Here, I do.” I respect the grounding and strength you gather from your creative spirit. I believe it gives you the place to stand to do your other work, to honor the spirit in other women. Thank you.
For Mike and Jim….in a world filled with viciousness and cruelty, I am awed that you take on this role, which is so painful to you both, so that women can learn and reclaim their strength. You are like firemen who go repeatedly into a burning house to save others. If it gets too much for you, and you have to stop to protect yourselves, we will understand and be grateful for what you have already given. But I selfishly pray you will find the strength to continue—because the gift you give is so precious. I will be forever grateful. And I promise not only to “live big”, but to encourage others to do so, too.
I came back to my home tonight, so grateful for the many good men in my life. I am gratefully for my loving father, my incredible brothers and brothers-in-law, my wonderful husband, my sweet son, for my caring men friends, for ALL the good men in my life.
And I am grateful for the good men who step up to the plate and lay down their very hearts and souls on the line to help women who have NOT had such men in their lives. Thank you.
And for the women I shared this incredible weekend with, I know whenever I feel alone or endangered again, I will always hear your voices screaming in my heart, cheering me on to fight for myself, and telling me to never, ever give up.
Thank you.
And thank you to my friend Lee, who mere days before had said to me, “Don’t be afraid! Be like your rabbit…. She may be fearful….but she has a place in the world.”
By acknowledging I was afraid—but still deserved to live—I found the strength to finish this class.
The only thing I have left to say for today is, if you are woman, if you love a woman, please consider giving yourself/her the gift of this workshop. Our graduation was attended by family members of the participants, who watched a demonstration. One woman said she didn’t think she could do what we did, though she admired us for it.
This is what I said:
“We were not extraordinary women… Well, we ARE, but only in the sense that we are ALL extraordinary. We came here three days ago, mothers, daughters, sisters, strangers—and this is what we found out we can do. And if we can do this, ANY woman can.”
