I had the pleasure of attending not one, but TWO fabulous parties today. Needless to say, my typing skills have deteriorated mightily. Please excuse any typos.
At the first party, I spoke with a fellow craftsperson who has quite the successful wholesale business. She asked me how things were going and unfortunately, I answered her honestly. After a brief rant, I came back to my senses and said, "I'm sorry, I must sound like a total bitch."
"No", she said thoughtfully, "You sound tired."
And I am.
I realized this last year, especially the last four months, have been extremely difficult for someone who has to sell the work of her hands to people who don't have the money to buy it right now. It's been hard, discouraging, not much fun. I AM tired.
But as soon as Marcie said that, I also realized I would get my game back. I made some fabulous new items today, something so cool my 13-year-old exclaimed "COOL!!" when he saw them. My friend Lee called to finalize plans to have coffee tomorrow morning, and when he asked, "How are you doing?" I could honestly say, "GREAT!" Not necessarily because I AM doing great--but because I finally had a glimmering that I will be doing great again, soon.
Because at the second party (the annual pie party held by my friends John and Judy Rogers), I had enough pina coladas to realize this simple fact:
I love my life.
It gets weird, and it gets hard, and it's always messy. It's never perfect, and it's never gonna BE perfect. I may never figure it out completely. But I love it all the same.
And that's my art, too. I may never figure out how to "do" it right, I may never be as acclaimed, or as famous, or as financially successful as I'd like to be.
But I will never stop doing it. It's just not possible.
And I'm beginning to think that's kinda cool.
