So you wanna be an artist?
Do you envision the life of an artist through rosy-colored glasses?
Think when you're a "famous artist" you will gain an adoring public?
Here's a little anecdote I sent to some people a few days ago. They thought it was so funny I should blog it.
The names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
I dropped off a new wall hanging to an exhibit I've been juried into.
I'm going to be really nice and not name ANY names.
It had been raining for two days straight. In fact, this was the day before the Big Flood here in Keene.
So I wrapped the piece in a large clear garbage bag to protect it.
I went inside the gallery, introduced myself, and thanked the staff for being available on Saturday for drop-off.
I set my wall hanging in its wrapper on a table while I filled out paperwork. It was an ordinary empty table for artists to park their work while they filled out paperwork.
Then the attendant called over the person whose job it was to make sure the piece had arrived undamaged (for insurance purposes.) I will call this person "Pat". The conversation went like this:
Holly: And now Pat will check over your piece and make sure it is not damaged.
(I start to take the piece out of the bag. I only had to walk 50 feet from my car, I've been there 10 minutes, and the bag is nearly dry now.)
Pat(reproachfully): "It's...wet." (Pat is referring to the bag, not the wall hanging, btw.)
Me (cheerfully): "Yes, it's raining out."
Pat (sarcastically): "Oh, it's RAINING out? REALLY. It's RAINING out. Now, how would I know THAT? Maybe if I looked OUTSIDE? Huh!"
Me: "Do you have a paper towel? I can wipe it off a little."
Pat (with a sigh): "Never mind, it's almost dry."
Me (still cheerfully): "Okay, now this hangs from a simple hanger in the back..."
Pat: (interrupting) "WHAT?? What does it hang from? WHERE??"
Me: "There's a simple wire hanger here, on the back, just like a painting--see?"
Pat: "I GET it, I GET it."
Me: "Now, as for special handling instructions, there's only thing that might need to be adjusted. These resistors hanging from the bottom--sometimes the lead wires get bent. So they may need to be gently bent back--like this." (I show him.)
Pat: "And then they eventually break off."
At this point I had to leave, because I was not able to be cheerful any longer.
I hope the opening reception is a little less....crabby.
P.S. Someone pointed out that I seem to have encountered the art world's version of Napoleon Dynamite (without the funny lines.)
