I was reading a back issue of WORTHWHILE magazine www.worthwhilemag.com and came across an article by Curt Rosengren ("When Reality Becomes a Wall") that brought me up short.
It's ostenstibly an article on career change, and overcoming the obstacles that keep people from going after their dream job. Item four was "Examine Your Assumptions."
We all know that "assume" is a word that makes an ass of u and me. And I saw a bumper sticker last week that said "Assume NOTHING." Let's face it, though, we all do it--make assumptions. Some are bad, some are silly, but some are sound.
Rather than "assume nothing", we could simply EXAMINE our assumptions. Then decide if they are silly or not.
I spent a morning recently with a friend I hardly ever get to see. We had a lively discussion about negotiating changing priorities and focus in our lives. I got home and rattled off a detailed e-mail with what I thought was great advice. She wrote back and said, thanks, but she was confused--she didn't NEED advice, especially on the issues I'd addressed.
Whoops! I had assumed that everyone in a muddle needs advice.
Someone else recently wrote a detailed letter that looked like she was outlining a major career crisis. I caught a few threads and responded. She wrote back to say I'd misunderstood her initial request for help. She essentially said she was in such a muddle, she didn't even know what she wanted.
Whoops! I had assumed that everyone in a muddle who asks me for advice needs MY advice.
If someone doesn't even know what question to ask, they are certainly not going to hear any answer *I* come up with. (This is not a criticism of her, btw, because I know just how she feels....)
I'm still sorting out my next professional move to get my artwork to another level. I've received excellent, inspired, thoughtful advice. I mean it--really STELLAR advice. But it still boils down to, what is the (art)work *I* love?
And the answer? I simply have to make it. No sense publicizing and marketing work that only exists in my mind and heart right now.... First do the work.
I had assumed that once I found the right advice, I'd know what to do with it.
And really, I DO know what I have to do, and I DO know my next step. I know better now who to tell about the work, and that the rest is time, time, time....time to breathe, focus, work, move up to the next step. NOT time to research, self-examine, or even explain a lot.
It occurs to me (a la Lord of the Rings) that "all who wander are not lost."
And another....the physicians' oath--"First, do no harm."
Don't make things worse.
From now on, if someone asks for advice, I'll tell them to simply noodle around in my blog for awhile. Maybe something will sound familiar or strike a chord. If not, and they know the question--the RIGHT question--maybe I'll having something useful to share with them.
P.S. It was the April/May 2006 issue, and the article is on page 78. So far, I really like the magazine. Different, but resonant.
