A phrase I heard this morning is running through my mind. "He's the kind of kid who has to be met where he is." It was in reference to one of my kids, and I've been thinking about it.
It's true--anyone who meets my son "where he is" is richly rewarded. He can be enthusiastic, connected, passionate, funny and warm. Try to force him where you think he should go and he is distant, uncommunicative, sarcastic and dark.
Is that a good thing? Or not?
After thinking about it, I decided it is what it is. If he doesn't learn to be more accomodating, some things in life will go harder for him. On the other hand, maybe it's a good thing that he is so much his own person. That's a good thing, too.
I segued into friendship. Friendship seems to demand that we "meet the other person where they are." Should we always have to "go" where that other person "is"? When is it OUR turn? Or are WE too demanding?? Is a friendship that's "too hard" worth it? How do you tell?
We all have people in our lives where it seems like we're working harder on the friendship than anything else. Maybe this happens in marriage, too. "We have to work on our marriage" always seems a little forced, a little sad.
So....is the friend important? Or the friendship?
It occurred to me that what works best is when both both parties care enough to meet that other person where they are.
Because where they meet--somewhere in between--THAT is the friendship.
Friendship not a rigid structure binding us together. It's simply the place where our good intentions for each other intersect.
And so it is fluid and in flux and ever-changing, just as people are.
Of course, since I'm an artist, this always segues into my art. (Because I read everything as a metaphor for my art.)
I was journaling this morning, thinking a little wistfully about how hard it seems lately to do my art. How hard SHOULD it be? Should it be this hard? Or am I barking up the wrong tree? A small farm with lots of animals to take care of, and nothing for me to "produce", seems very soothing and tempting right now. (Except for those early morning hours--ouch!)
But then I realize, it's not the art that's hard. It's figuring out where to meet it. Do I have to go to my art? How far? When does it ever just come to me?
Neither. Both. Doesn't matter.
Wherever I meet my art halfway, that's where my relationship with it is right now. At different times in my life, I have to work harder to meet it. And at other times, it will come so far to meet me, it will seem overwhelming. I've been through periods like that, when the zone is so powerful, so strong, it seems like nothing else matters except to get that artwork out into being as fast as possible.
Sometimes, like my bunny is doing RIGHT NOW, it will thump very, very hard to get my attention.
But like friendship, it is fluid and in flux and ever-changing.
Time to go be friends with my art.
