I spent an entire day at a special martial arts event—AMOK, a knife-fighting seminar taught by Prof. Tom Sotis. Click the title link for his website. My head is spinning with all the different ways I could be killed.
Contemplating how to deal with violence in the world overwhelms me sometimes, and some people who know me only in my “artistic” capacity are bemused when I mention this other part of my life. But the martial arts have many strengths to offer creative people.
I’ve spoken before about the focus and discipline and belief in yourself that helps push you toward your dream of being an artist. I took up martial arts around the same time I returned to art, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence. The processes of working toward something you have never done before, and achieving it through consistent effort and practice, are amazingly similar.
And this morning, I woke up with a single thought in my head. The dangers creative people face may not be physical ones, but they can be just as deadly.
Let me bring another piece into this: My husband just returned from a long conference at Microsoft near Seattle, WA. He is in high spirits; although he believes it has long embraced an outdated business model, you have to be amazed and delighted by the sheer force of talented and creative people that company has assembled. Unfortunately, they are no longer allowed to use that talent and creativity, but Jon was energized simply by being among people who understood what he was working on. The exchange of energy was positive and uplifting. As he shared his experiences from the trip, I was struck by how hungry he was for this shared environment of respect, support and enthusiasm.
When I woke up this morning, I had an insight into the martial arts world I hover around.
The most destructive force to a creative person is negativity. The only bumper sticker on my car says, “Those who have abandoned their dreams will discourage yours.” (Okay, I also used to have one that said, “Brake for moose, it could save your life” but we sold the car.)
When you have something in your life you believe in, your vocation/avocation, and when you are fully engaged with it, your energy literally makes you shine. Many people are attracted to this light. But some people, though attracted, are also threatened by it. Read my blog “The Nibble Theory” for a discussion about a simple yet fascinating book that talks about this phenomena. http://jonudell.net/radio-luann/2004/09/25.html#a32
In martial arts, we practice being attacked. Our first defense? Run away! It’s still the best defense for saving your life. But if the threat continues, then we learn to escalate our defense. We learn how to defend ourselves against someone we don’t really want to destroy, someone who just needs to be distracted, deflected or redirected. And then we learn what to do if our very life is threatened.
At my level of study, I don't really believe right now I could protect myself against all attacks. What I work toward is to be able to ACT and not freeze in panic. To simply be the wrong victim to target. To encourage the bad guys to find someone else to pick on.
As we strive to find out what we should do with our life, we will constantly be exposed to the same kinds of threats. People who love us but who are threatened because we go to a place they think they cannot go because of their fear. Do we destroy them? No. But we can’t let them hurt us just because they are in pain, either.
Then there’s the next level of attackers. It is crucial to your survival that you recognize the people who would just as soon tear you down as look at you as opposed to the people who are a minor distraction and merely need to be set aside. Yet it is still important to know when to move those less deadly people out of your path.
I was talking to a friend about getting negative people out of my life, and a bystander contradicted me. He said negative people were important, because by overcoming them we learned how to be strong. There is some truth in that. But only by overcoming them and SUCCEEDING, do learn how strong we really are. If we do not know how to do that, then they take us down with them.
Like Jon being in the powerful company of like minds for a few precious days, I’m fascinated being in the company of people who strive for this kind of physical focus. It is so hard for me—there are days when I am briefly immobilized by fear--but little by little, I learn to be in the moment and to believe. In this kind of discipline I find inspiration and comfort. In this fierce study of attack and destruction I find a way to defend myself against negativity and fear.
It is suddenly another form of prayer.
