One more comment on yesterday’s topic, Po Bronson’s book, “What Should I Do With My Life?”…
Po states that asking yourself this question "...aspires to end the conflict between who you are and what you do. Answering the question is the best way to protect yourself from being lathed into someone you're not."
But it's not easy.
The process of finding what you should do with your life is not easy. And even when you find it, it’s still not easy.
It took me years to find my way back to my art. I couldn’t see what it looked like til I got there, either. I went from quilting/knitting/jewelry making/cross-stitch/clay/doll making to fabric embellished with embroidery and handmade artifacts. It was a long, long process that took years.
It filled me with bitterness at first, those wasted years. I envied people who knew right off the bat what it was they wanted to do, and went for it.
Now, of course, I see those “wasted years” actually gave me everything that makes my work truly mine. Everyone who sees it says the same thing: “I’ve never seen anything like it, and it’s beautiful.” So my path is what it is.
But now that I know what it is I should do, and I’ve been doing it awhile, it should be easy, right?
No. It’s not easier. Sometimes I see clearly what it is I have to do, and sometimes it’s as confusing as ever.
What I DO have, now, is a “true north”. I know what role art plays in my life, and how to figure out what the next step is. It’s whatever aligns with that “true north” I carry inside me. Seeing what lies ahead, and how to get there, gets crazy and difficult sometimes. Often all I can hope to see is what my next step will be. That’s all.
There are still days of frustration, discouragement and difficulties. There are setbacks and obstacles to be overcome. Some days are full of “flow”. Other days are as sticky as a bathtub full of mud.
Serious things aren’t SUPPOSED to be easy. But they do feel RIGHT. So right that when you find that serious thing, you can’t imagine you were made to do anything else. So right that, in the words of one mentor, Deborah Kruger, “When I’m in my studio making my art, I’m so happy I feel like I could die right then and there and it would be all right. Because I would die doing what I was meant to do.”
I know I'm doing what I'm meant to do because I like the person I am when I doing it. I like my work, I like what I've had to do to get it out into the world. I like the intense process of personal growth I have to go through to figure this all out. And I like sharing that process with others.
Don’t give up just because it’s hard. Keep at it because it’s worth your best effort.
