I attended a meeting recently that, though it went pretty well, reminded me of why I didn't go into teaching.
I have a masters degree in education. I taught at a variety of venues, did a lot of substitute teaching for awhile. I might have been a good teacher, too. I enjoyed school. I did well, with not too much effort. I had a knack for testing well. Even when I got into college, I could get by with not much more effort. For my master's degree, I did have a lot of work to do. But it wasn't hard, there was just a lot of it. I always got along with my teachers, and those I didn't get along with, I would just work harder trying to win them over.
My husband was the same way. In fact, except for one sibling between us, every single member of both our families, teach. Three siblings and siblings-in-law became principals.
So how did we get these non-compliant kids who don't want to play by the (academic) rules at school?? Whose way of doing things is just different than how Jon and I do things. And what do we do about them?
Every time I go to a teachers' meeting, I hear the phrase with those words: "He just has to...." "She just has to..." As in, "She's just got to do her homework, work harder, get better grades." When my daughter was in elementary school and very quiet (hard to believe now, I know!) a well-meaning teacher actually said, "She has to be more outgoing. She needs to speak up more in class."
I share this with you because I've learned people do not--and cannot--change their behavior because they know they "should".
My point is, I would have been one of those teachers. I was highly successful at "school", and would not have understood the needs of someone who wasn't. And that would have made me a BAD teacher. Because I would have been a good teacher only for that 15-25% of students who would do well anyway. I would not have known how to help someone who didn't think or act the samw way I do.
I'm different now.
As an artist, I've learned that, sometimes despite my efforts, things just don't work out the way I'd hoped. And it gets hard--really hard--to keep plugging away at it. That's where my school success gets in my way. It's taken me YEARS to learn how to keep plugging away without giving up. It's taken a lot of failure for me to learn that failure can be overcome. It's taken a lot of false starts and dead-ends to realize starting over is a powerful strength, a worthwhile quality.
This is also true with my martial arts studies. Believe me, it has taught me the virtue of being humble. And persistant. I have no "natural flair" for the martial arts. It did NOT come from someone saying, "You just gotta do it like this" and then I got it. Every single step has come from practice, practice, practice. And showing up. And simply not giving up.
When people say, "You just gotta do...." I want to say, "If we could just TELL people what they should do, and that would ACTUALLY WORK, then we wouldn't need AA, Weight Watchers, churches or prisons." Our world is FULL of institutions dedicated to helping people do just that--what they SHOULD do.
What's the answer?
Tiny, tiny action steps.
That's why saying, "I'm going to exercise today" may not work for you. But saying, "I'm just going to put on my work-out sweats" might. That's why "I'm going to lose 20 pounds this year" may not work. But saying, "I'll have soup for lunch" might. For me, saying, "I'm going to swim for an hour two to three times a week" does not work. But saying, "I'm just going to get my swim bag and drive over by the Y" does.
So two little pieces of advice for you today, for your art, for your physical well-being, for any big "thing" you're facing that just seems too hard.
You don't have to change who you are. You just have to change a few words here and there.
Instead of "I should....", try "I could..."
Then figure out one tiny little step that would be in the right direction.
And just do that one tiny little step.
I think I can promise you're going to feel--and be--a lot better if you do.
