It's been almost a year to the day since I had knee surgery. I thought I was out of the woods with recovery. But today I find myself right back on my butt again. Literally and figuratively.
My quiet voice said maybe I should take it easy this last week (physically) before I leave for my big wholesale craft show. But my determination said, “Let’s get one more night of sparring in before I go!” So I went to kickboxing that evening, donned my sparring gear, and went a round with my sensei.
Two minutes later I was on the floor writhing in pain. I’d stumbled back defensively and in striving not to wrench my knee again, I totally twisted my hip. After a night in the emergency room to determine I hadn’t broken anything, a long night in pain and a visit to the doctor the next day, I find I’ve probably torn the muscle attachments to the lower pelvic bone. (Translation: I tore a big muscle in my butt.) It will take at least a year to fully heal, and there is a small but significant chance I may have damaged my hip in such a way as to need hip replacement surgery later on in life. (My doctor mentioned Bo Jackson which meant nothing to me, but apparently anyone who's into sports will nod their head sagely at this point.)
I was devastated and demoralized. I could hardly keep from crying (and it really, really hurts, too!) I'm back sleeping on the couch downstairs (can't get up the stairs), hobbling around on crutches figuring out how the hell I can get into the shower before the health department shows up.
But the morning brought new hope. Here’s where I am today.
What’s happened can’t be undone. But I can cope. Although the injury will take a long time to heal, it does not need surgery—it WILL heal on its own.
I immediately found out what I CAN still do. Within a few days, I can return to light exercise. I need to take it easy, but this will actually help the healing process. In fact, the tear may actually ease the sciatica I’ve had, since the tear may relieve stress on the nerve in my hip once its healed.
I can still do my show. The pain should begin to ease up before I have to travel. And I’m taking the train, which means I’ll have the freedom to get up and move around instead of sitting for hours at a time (if I’d flown or driven.)
I’ve already finished all the very hard work for the show--packing and shipping my booth--last week. The tasks I have left to do I can still manage fairly easily even with my injury.
And the most astonishing thing of all: For the first time (for this show) I have extra help. I’ve had it promised to me for FIVE MONTHS. And when the first person who said she would help told me she would not be able to make it after all, a second person e-mailed me TWO HOURS LATER to offer, unasked, her help. This happened two weeks ago—BEFORE my injury. And she’d planned to help from the very beginning (unpacking the crates) to the bitter end (packing up the booth to ship home) right from the moment she contacted me.
What is astonishing is I was given this gift before I could even ask for it.
These are miracles, and I am grateful.
I know there is something to be learned from all this. The most powerful one that’s obvious is, I am still able to move my art and business forward.
And the next powerful lesson is I’m starting over again. I CAN start over. My goals for health and fitness will be compromised, but not ended. There are ways to make this work.
I find myself almost happier than I was before the accident, hard as I find that to believe! Something is going on, I don’t know what. But I will share it here as I discover it.
I asked a friend to keep me in her prayers, but then was ashamed--there are so many people in the world who need her prayers more than I. She wrote back to say, "Fortunately God can handle a lot of prayers!"
Thank you, Tiffany.
