I like to think I'm always about the business of craft. But thinking about a black belt in martial arts made me realize I have more at stake than that.
As artists and craftspeople, we're told to make sound business decisions. We're advised not to be swayed by the lure of fancy shows and expensive marketing opportunities that don't really serve our bottom line.
But sometimes we NEED a few of those as personal markers of our success.
The trick is to know what that marker is for you, and what it represents. And THEN to determine if it's worth it to you.
I've been doing some thinking about my new dojo. It might not really be the best place for me. The focus is on different aspects of martial arts (tournements and competitions) that is SO not me right now.
There are other is issues, too. I'm frustrated by a lack of work-out partners that challenge me (everyone is already "partnered up") and the fact that few people there can see beyong my white belt.
A friend turned my own words back at me last night. "So what are you going to do about that?" she asked.
Oh, I hate it when I'm asked to follow my own advice!
Regarding the dojo, I decided to wait a little longer. The head instructor insists this is a stage the dojo is going through, and things will be different soon. Whether the other matters will change is doubtful. But I figure I can give it another month or two.
But what really held me back from leaving is the question, "What regrets would I have?" Because the thought of just walking out completely made me hesitate profoundly.
This morning, I realize it's because I might care a little more about getting a black belt than I'd like to admit.
I've been a black belt candidate at two different schools now. I had to overcome a lot of self-doubt and injury and fear of further injury to get that far. For various reasons, I haven't been able to complete either candidacy.
This MIGHT be the school where I could do that. And that means a LOT to me right now.
I knew a woman, an accomplished potter, who decided to go to art school for her MA. At first I tried to dissuade her--she already WAS an artist! Why would she wait another minute to get her work out there into the world??
She pointed to this teacher and that opportunity, but finally admitted there was no real reason to do this. Except one.
"No one in my family ever went to college. I want to be the first one."
Going to college meant something very important to her. It was HER credentialing piece. The minute she said that, I gave her my full support.
And in the months and years that followed, whenever she complained about a dull assignment or a difficult instructor, I was there to remind her why she was doing this. I was so proud to watch her receive her diploma on her graduation day!
It was the same with doing the ACC-Baltimore show last year. In my heart, I knew it was just another east coast show. I knew my work was good enough to get in. But I also knew deep down that the show wasn't going to change my bottom line.
I did it anyway, knowing I was would be lucky to break even financially.
Because saying I DID get into that show was a very important credentialing piece. Not just for my audience and stores who might someday carry my work. But for ME.
I wanted to be able to say I was an ACC-Baltimore level artist. And I can say that now.
So you have my permission to make an "unsound" business decision once in awhile.
Consider the pros and cons. If it's a decision that could break you financially, be prepared for the hard stuff.
But if you need to see that black belt, that diploma, that certain show on your resume, then go for it. Because when it all goes on the big decision scale in the sky, sometimes our hearts have more weight than we think.
