I decided to totally goof off for the past week, and I'm feeling the effects.
On one hand, it feels good to be a total sloth. I've read a lot of books, watched a lot of movies, and eaten a lot of food. A LOT of food.
We've made a point of spending as much time with family and friends as possible.
I've tried my best not to think about the upcoming ACC show in Baltimore. I haven't written in my blog. I've done a little work getting artwork ready for the show, but not much.
As the weighty progress of 2005 grinds to a weary halt, I find my mental state petrifying in kind. I feel overwhelmed by my growing anxiety about the show, and frightened by my lack of initiative to get ready.
I took one of those stupid magazine tests for attitude, and was astounded that my mental state has become extremely negative in the last few months.
What happened?? I feel like my poles got reversed while sleeping one night. Where did all my positive energy go?
I remember a few words of advice from someone ages ago. When in doubt, act able.
Act AS IF you know you can do it.
Okay. Time for action. But what?
I started this blog as a way to share things I've learned with others. Lately, though, it seems to become a whine fest on my part. What use that has for anyone else, I can't imagine.
My husband and I have had a lot of conversations lately about the uses of a blog. And I realized that one important aspect of it for me is this:
I need to write.
So forget everything else it's SUPPOSED to be, today I needed to do just one thing.
My first step to ACT ABLE, to act AS IF was to make myself sit down and write SOMETHING today.
But it worked some magic for me. I realize a good thing to do tomorrow might be an assessment. Take note of what I accomplished in 2005. And what I hope to accomplish in 2006.
So tomorrow, on the last day of 2005, I will take pen in hand and try to make a list of what I think I did well--or at least BETTER--in 2005. Or what I at least did for the first time.
No resolutions, I promise!
