I had a bad spot this morning.
I woke up thinking in dismay that the new product line I've been working so hard on is NOT WORKING OUT.
Feeling down in the dumps and at the end of my rope preparing for this upcoming ACC show. Feeling there is no end in sight. In fact, I can't even imagine what "the end" would look like.
What am I doing??
In my studio, I did an e-mail wail to a friend. And waited for a sign.
The fax went off.
"If that's Alisha faxing me something funny, or
a wonderful new opportunity for my work or a big fat order, I'll know I'm on the right path!" I thought.
It wasn't. It was just a spam fax for a time-share condo.
I kept working. My incoming e-mail pinged.
"If that's Alisha answering my e-mail, or a wonderful new opportunity for my work, or a big fat order, I'll know I'm on the right path!" I thought.
It wasn't. It was a spam e-mail offering something to enlarge a body part I don't even have.
I kept working. The phone rang.
"If that's Alisha calling with an answer to my prayers, or a wonderful new opportunity for my work, or a big fat order, etc. etc." I thought.
It wasn't. It was for my kid. And he wasn't even out of bed yet. (Snow day here in Keene, NH.)
I kept on working. I couldn't even bear to look at the new pieces, so I worked on my little sculptures. (Which look pretty wonderful, if I do say so myself.)
Finally Alisha called.
I wailed. She listened.
And she said just the right thing.
First, she made me laugh. I told her about waiting for a sign. She told me the time she had to make a huge momentous decision. For weeks, she seriously thought she'd see a sign about it in her fortune cookies at the Chinese restaurant she eats at. (She never did....)
Then she simply told me to keep doing what I'm doing.
All she did was give me a peek over the trenches. A look at the success of other people who have taken a similar path I'm following, and made it. A glimpse of other artists sho found professional success in a slightly different way than the way I know now.
She pointed out that the new things I'm doing are not only scary because they're NEW, they're scary because they're DIFFERENT. I know how to be successful at the old ways to market and sell my work. I don't know if I'll be successful with the ways.
But other people have. And maybe I will, too. In fact--she thinks I will.
It was enough.
I went for a swim at the Y (a mile!!!) and got back to work.
I'm at peace with myself again. Trusting myself, trusting the process.
Thanks, Alisha!!
