An interesting discussion arose on a popular crafts forum today. A retailer posted for advice: How do you deal with children running rampant in a fine craft store, especially when the parents are oblivious?
It's an age-old problem, and not confined to stores with breakables. When I worked in my dad's restaurant as a teen, we often saw misbehaving children. As a DINK couple (Double Income, No Kids) dining out, we sometimes saw outrageous behavior in kids whose parents were always looking the other way. I remember a small child running under the feet of a rushing waiter who was bearing a huge tray filled with bowls of hot soup, as the parents chatted on oblivious to everything. (We now notice the same "I'm gazing at the trees" look in people who let their dog poop in our yard....)
But as a parent, even as a parent of pretty well-behaved children, I can sympathize--a LITTLE--with those parents.
When I walk into a store even now, with perfectly behaved teens in tow, I'm dismayed to see signs declaring, "You break it, you buy it!" And "Extremely fragile! Please ask for assistance!"
My reaction? If it's so fragile I can't even look at it more closely, why would I want it in my home? It will probably be ME who breaks it.
I am NOT defending the antics of indulged chilren whose overwhelmed parents can't even be bothered to pretend to have them under control.
But we ARE the animal with opposable thumbs. The same miraculous appendage that made all these beautiful things--our hands--are the same tool we use to acquant ourselves better with the beautiful objects. By touching it. By holding it. That's what human beings do.
I see it all the time in my booth. People who are unfamiliar with my work stop in their tracks. They tilt their head to one side. (I've been told it's a neurological thing--they are trying to access a different side of their brain to figure out just what they're looking at.) They step closer. And without conscious thought, their hand goes out to touch the piece.
And here's the sad part of our culture. They then jerk their hand back guiltily.
Because we are a nation of "don't touch!"
So how do we acknowledge that people touch things, and still protect the delicate objects we hope to sell and make money on? How do we manage unmanageable children and still maintain a pleasant atmosphere for shopping?
I don't have perfect answers, only some that have worked for me. And I hope you will post some of YOUR suggestions, too.
First of all, it is important to keep a positive atmosphere going. Warning signs and scolding people will turn EVERYONE off--even the people who are seriously shopping. It's a fine line, but it must be walked.
Bruce Baker, who lectures on selling techniques and display, tells a great anecdote about this. His store sold fountains, and kids were always playing with them. Til one day he saw a child start for the fountain and without thinking, said, "Careful! Water and electricity don't mix!" The parent snapped back to attention mode, gathered her child up, and gratefully said, "Thank you!" to Bruce.
He didn't tell her to get with the program. He didn't reprimand the child. He didn't even really say anything about the fountain.
What he DID suggest was that a parent's first job was to keep their child safe. And that he was helping the parent do that job.
Everyon snapped back into their roles, and everyone was happy.
Perhaps another one-liner: "I'm SO sorry, but our liability insurance doesn't allow that." Spoken with sincerity and real concern. Because EVERYONE understands liability issues. And now we can all put the blame on the insurance company instead of on the bad-tempered store owner.
Second, I find it helps when I separate ignorance from malice. There are the families who obviously have no respect for what we're doing. No hope there--just deal with them firmly but with civility.
But with people or children who simply don't know better, this is what calls for a "teachable moment."
The "don't touch" thing is hardest on the parents who DO keep their children in line. Their child naturally wants to touch something, and the parent scolds them. The parent is doing what they're supposed to do, but it sure wrecks the shopping mood for everyone.
What I do is come forward immediately. It's MY booth, and I am the one who needs to set the tone, no matter what the parents are or aren't doing.
I get on the child's level and ask if their hands are clean. Usually they are, but if not, I have wipes available. I tell them my work is strong and durable, and made to be touched--respectfully--as long as their hands are clean. I tell them I made EVERYTHING in my booth, and as long as they treat the work with respect, they can touch it. Then I gently touch a wall hanging, or a sculpture, or a necklace I've picked up. They mimic my touch, and stroke it gently.
They are delighted to be rescued from a scolding. I am modeling the right behavior for them. The parent is relieved that I'm not yelling.
I also use small bribes. This could be as involved as a box of toys or activities. (One artist said she had an electronic game thingie for this very purpose.) It could a small bowl of candy. Something manageble by very young children and older children--lolly pops, penny candy, etc., wrapped individually (and now we can distract them with how to dispose of the wrapper) and not messy or potentially allergenic.
It could be as simple as a business card with a picture of my work on it. I have a box of old hangtags I no longer use, with horse and fish images on them. I tell children I'm giving them a special picture of my work to take with them, because they were so appreciative of my art. (On the plus side, my contact information is on that card, too, in case the parents decide they'd like to reward me by becoming a customer.)
When I have an open studio, I often provide a hands-on activity that any child can do. Rubber stamps, colored pencils and blank cards and bookmarks appeal to almost all kids. I invite them to make a special card for someone, show them some simple techniques, and let them go at it. (Washable ink pads, of course.)
Surly teens can be hard. It's a tough age for many kids, even the wonderful ones. But even they can be won over with a little empathy and respect. A simple question like "What would YOU rather be doing today?" can open the door. If a boy is a snowboarder, ask if he thinks snowboarders wear "surfer jewelry" like surfboarders. If nothing else, you may discover a new product line idea. At best, you might show him the cool work of a jewelery-designer who targets the younger crowd.
Teen girls, the same thing. If they turn up their noses at your wares, ask them what THEY think is cool. Or find out if they've ever made their own jewelry or other craft. You'd be surprised. Many have. And when you engage them, they are excited to share their experiences. You can then point them to another craftsperson doing something similar. Again, it leads into engagement and education.
One girl looked at a selection of my necklaces and in a loud voice, exclaimed, "Geez, these are EXPENSIVE!!!"
I stepped over to her and said, "You're right, these ARE expensive. Let me tell you why." I showed her the artifacts I'd made, and how I'd made them. I put one in her hand so she could touch the horse artifact.
She then turned to her mother and in an equally loud voice said, "Mom, you've got to look at these! They're REALLY COOL!"
If the child can't be distracted this way, here is where an assistant is helpful. One person needs to distract the child so the parent can shop. My daughter is extremely good with kids of all ages, and her presence is invaluable. She's saved many a sale with her calm manner and genuine interest in other people.
Of course, if everyone is there for "edutainment"--Bruce's word for people who aren't seriously shopping but just browsing for fun--then there's no sale to be made anyway. But you've kept your cool, you've moved on the non-shoppers, and the REAL shoppers in your booth or store can relax and get back to shopping.
And take a hard look at what you potentially contribute to this problem. Are your displays sturdy and anchored? Or does a little push knock everything over? Have you left enough space for people to walk around safely? Or do people accidently brush against stuff even just maneuvering around? Are tempting items at adult eye-height? Or child eye-height?
If signs are necessary, make them as pleasant and positive as possible. Instead of "Please don't touch!" or "Please ask for assistance" (which always makes me feel like a clumsy ox) try "We would LOVE to show you this piece! Just ask!" Or even better, "Ask for the special story about this vase!" People will ASK instead of GRAB.
Try to anticipate bad behavior and head it off at the pass. "Unruly children will be given an esspreso and a puppy" is humorous, at least. But no one likes to think of their children as unruly, and besides no one--especially the oblivious parent--ever thinks you're talking about THEM. So take the initiative. Try a sign that says, "May we entertain your child while you shop?" and have a little box of activities available.
When you are out shopping yourself, see how other establishments handle this. Note which approaches make you feel good as a customer, and which are off-putting.
And if YOU have tips which have worked for you, share them! Together we can keep our sanity, keep parents shopping--and maybe, just maybe, get kids on board with handmade craft. And create future new collectors of fine American handcraft.
