There are two kinds of drivers in the world....
Those who use their brakes and those who use their horn.
I read this in an article in the Boston Globe newspaper years ago, and it really hit home. The guy talked about bad drivers in Boston (one of many cities to claim the title "City with the Worst Drivers in the World"). Most Boston drivers let you know if you're driving badly with a fiery cascade of horn blowing. But rather than carry his diatribe to an obvious conclusion ("They deserve it!"), he said:
"I realized that in every driving situation where I was using my horn, I could simply use my brakes."
If someone braked in front of him, if someone was merging slowly, even if someone swerved into his lane, braking would go just as far to solving the problem (avoiding an accident) as honking would.
Yeah, it's gratifying to let off a blast that lets them know you think they're a jerk. It doesn't really do anything more to fix the problem--it just feels good. In the end, it only adds to the level of noise and negative energy in the environment.
Is your goal to let people know when you think they've crossed a line? Or to get safe and sound to your distination?
I thought about that a lot, and changed my acquired Boston driving style accordingly. I get mad, sure. And if someone swerves in my lane, a little horn toot can let them know I'm there, too.
But I also use my brake and get out of the way.
Life is like that, too. And getting ahead with your art.
When things don't go our way, when people step on our toes, when we feel we're being overlooked or pushed around, we can blow up.
Or we can acknowledge the error and move on.
I'm not good at blowing up, even when I'm totally justified at doing so. And I'm not saying we should take on the characteristics of a door mat. Sometimes other people need that horn toot. There are times when a gentle toot sets the boundaries we need to protect ourselves.
I'm thinking of the people who rage publicly about this show being bad, or show promoters being con artists, or craft books taking financial advantage of artists. They complain at length about all the ways they've been wronged professionally.
But for the people who constantly fret and rage because things aren't going there way, you gotta wonder what would happen if they simply got out of the way and got back on their path. What would happen if they took all that negative energy, and put it back into finding a way around the problem?
I've been put in tough spots before, and it's tempting to do vent. But I've learned there's always another side to the story. Even if I'm totally right (and I always am, hahaha), it doesn't even necessarily mean the other person/organization doesn't have a point, too.
In the end, it's a question of highest, best use of our time and energy. We only have so many hours on this earth--where should we put them to the best use? We only have so much passion to devote to something really important--what should we build with it?
Which do YOU use? Your horn--or your brakes?
