Last night I had a new partner in kickboxing.
Actually, you've met him before. He's the
SCARY EASTER BUNNY guy I blogged about months ago.
( http://jonudell.net/radio-luann/2006/04/14.html )
He felt like a new partner because we haven't been paired up for a long time now.
Every dojo has its mode of setting up partners in classes. In the two I've been in, the instructor matches people up. The assumption is you are matched in skill level, by height, or because for this particular class, a new person needs your guidance.
For awhile now, we've been set up guys to guys, women to women. And lately, the same people are paired up over and over and over again.
This may sound bitchy but oh well. I've been paired up with newbies for months now.
Sometimes I wonder if the awkward pairings are a result of a)my age, b) my whining about how old and out of shape I am or c) some kind of weird black belt test, to quote my friend Tanna.
I know, I know, I know I should be more patient. I'm not a superstar in class, and I have my limits, too. But it's frustrating to always be paired with people who are simply way, way behind me in skill level. Especially since a huge component of learning a new skill is watching other people do it well. I don't mind being someone else's learning model.
But sometimes it's just downright dangerous. A new student may kick too low, or too hard. They have trouble getting the rhythm of a combination, so you half to stop mid-way to reposition them. Sometimes they pull the bag when you're in mid-strike, causing you to hyperextend your arm or leg. OUCH!!
So when I'm paired with the new person, the slow person, the confused person, I try try try to be patient, and simply focus on doing my best under less-than-ideal circumstances. Sometimes it works. As I said, maybe it's a weird black belt test and I'm being taught I must be patient.
But as woman going through menopause, I'm a little tired of my role as caretaker/teacher/"let me put MY needs on a back burner so I can take care of you" mode.
I'm in the class for ME. I need the same consideration once in awhile.
And not being as nice as I could be, I often get cranky about it.
Last night was different. I was paired up with someone who's at least as skilled as I am, if not more, and a lot stronger and faster.
And last night showed why I need to work out with the more accomplished people once in awhile. (Yes, as always, I will tie this in with your art. Be patient, little grasshopper!)
My partner last night is a hard-working student. He's learned quickly, and has a lot of natural skill to boot. (Damn him.) He's focused and attentive. He goes at every class 100%
I, on the other hand, started class feeling hot and achey and tired. It had been a long day. I was not in the mood. I had even considered skipping class. Then I thought, okay I'll go and at least show up. But I fully intended to coast through.
Not. Randy was pounding away at the bag, really working his techniques.
And soon I was, too.
I went from a not-so-hot attitude to working really, really hard.
What does this mean for artists?
Sometimes we need to hang with people who force us to do our best.
If you hang out with people who do not challenge you, if you hang out with people who whine or hang back, if you hang out with people who are not focused and hard-working themselves, then you will not be challenged to do your best.
If you hang out with people who are disallusioned and bitter, if you hang out with people who are not serious about what they do, if you hang out with people who are not PASSIONATE about what they do, then all the energy you hope to bring to your art will slowly drain away, too.
If you get your power and energy from guiding, teaching, coaching or helping people like this, fine.
But if you get your power and energy from pushing YOURSELF to do your best, to making the best work you can, from using your hands to bring beautiful and inspiring work into the world,
then find someone whose energy inspires YOU.
Energy creates energy. Purpose and focus inspire the same in US. People on fire set us on fire, too.
Even if your mission is to help those who are smaller, weaker, more frightened or in need, you will need energy to help them.
Find out where that energy will come from--and cherish it.
