Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all who wrote with words of encouragement and enthusiam about Monday's entry, LISTENING TO YOUR HEART
For the people who are interested in learning more about Deborah Kruger, the artist I met with for a consultation, her website is here:
http://www.deborahkruger.com/
and if you go to the very bottom of THIS page, you can find her contact information:
http://www.deborahkruger.com/directions.php
Deborah is not like a regular "art consultant". She will not tell you what to do. She will LISTEN with all her heart, and help you see what is in YOUR heart.
I've taken her workshop, "Empowerment for Women in the Arts" twice in a decade. Both times, I've found it to be a profoundly moving experience. Not just because you get a chance to find out what's in your heart, but because you see how powerful it is to truly LISTEN to someone. You do not converse, you do not advise, you do not direct--you simply listen.
Well. And ask a few pointed questions, too.
Why should we listen to our heart? Aren't there facts and factors we should be considering when we make our decisions? Shouldn't cold hard reality reign, rather than our intuition?
I've been listening to a lot of podcasts about the nature of religion. One of the best is by Daniel Dennett, author of " BREAKING THE SPELL: Religion as a Natural Phenomenom" http://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Spell-Religion-Natural-Phenomenon/dp/067003472X/
Dennett, a philosopher, explores the biological reasons we have relgion. One theory is structured around the fact that our human minds cannot tolerate the mental state of indecision. It feels painful. Physically, emotionally painful. It keeps our brains roiling, and disturbs our sleep. (I can attest to this personally.)
So we come up with external devices that decide for us. Reading the charred bones or entrails of small animals, interpreting tea leaves, consulting oracles, or a simple roll of the dice.
Here's a delightful blogosphere tool for decision-making, from coincidentally another Daniel:
http://pouringdown.blogspot.com/2006/02/decision-machine.html
Over the ages, these "folk religions" evolve into full-blown, fully-realized religions, driving the everyday actions and life-altering decisions of millions of people all over the world.
Add to all this the scientific notion that our "real world" is a construct of our senses and perception. (Try thinking about the quantum mechanics theory that a subatomic particle can be in several places at the same time until someone actually LOOKS at it or measures it.)
Now consider that no two people will "see reality" exactly the same way, physically, emotionally or spiritually, nor do we have the same needs and desires and hopes.
So how on earth can we decide anything?
I think, in the end, there are very few truly right or wrong decisions. (Okay, most decisions should not harm other people and animals, and I KNOW I should not have eaten a whole bag of KitKat Bites last night, but besides that.) I'm talking about decisions like "Should I do a corner booth at this show?" or "Do I really want to move to Duluth?" or "Should I get the red one or the blue one?" (I'm not talking the "Matrix" pill here, I'm talking about the color of your new bike.)
The decisions that thrill us, that make our hearts leap, in the end, give energy. When it "feels right", it feels powerful. We feel good, we feel "in the zone", we feel hopeful it could work. Obstacles are now technical problems to be solved. And if it doesn't work out as we planned, oh well, at least we had fun. It was a "good ride" while it lasted.
The decisions that do not sit well with us, that we know are not really what we want, will sap our energy every whichway from Tuesday. We will agonize (because we know it's not what we really want), we will second-guess ourselves, we will dread, we will regret, we will suffer. If all goes well, we've still lost that "good place" energy we could have had from a decision we felt better about. If it goes badly, it's even more stress--"I did my best and I slaved and I worried and I suffered, and I STILL didn't get the outcome I wanted!!"
As artists, we should know this. We watch our customers pick the first thing that makes them exclaim, "Oh, THIS one!" and then watch them talk themselves out of it: "This brown one is more practical", or "This one will go with my sofa better." And we know damn well they will regret this because when WE compromise on what makes OUR heart sing, we know what that feels like.
So, by Deborah asking me, "What do YOU want?", she was putting the power and the choice right back on me. Putting ME in the driver's seat of my life, not some stranger or some "friend" who swears they know better than I what my art should be.
So take a little time this week. Pretend someone you know and trust is listening. Be brave. Simply write down what is in your heart.
What DO you want to do?
What is the art YOU want to make?
You're the driver--where will you go today?
